hospitals and love songs

I'm back at Mahkota Medical Centre Malacca again since Wednesday, the 15th.

My right foot's messed up bad. Balik dari Ipoh hari tu, things got worse and did not improve. I missed work quite a lot, too.

Nen tak sanggup dah tengok aku constantly in pain and insisted that we return to the foot doctors Balbir/Jeya to have the problem fixed.

Last year aku dah admitted ke sini gak, and they injected steroid to the affected joints. The problem was, lepas tu, 2-3 bulan I was out of action.

I refused at first nak ke hospital ni, thinking of the consequences. I am in the middle of a production, and I can't afford to miss work. Aku kan kuli orang, mana ada that luxury. But dengan kaki yang tak baik2, macam mana aku nak keje. Problem still not solved.

Selasa baru ni, when I failed to go to work again pasal kaki sakit sangat, I finally gave in and agreed to seek real treatment.

Nen si kesayangan aku memang one great woman.

Sepanjang2 aku sakit, dah makan tahun dah ni since we married, memang dia jaga aku sebaik mungkin. Segala kerenah aku yang sakit dia layan dengan sabar. And being a man, bila aku sakit, memang aku macam baby mengadanya. Itu fact.

Macam2 usaha Nen nak tengok aku sihat balik - dia jaga aku dengan baik sampai kesihatan dia sendiri kadang2 terabai, and sanggup bawak aku ke mana saja and do whatever it takes to help me get better again.

Ya Allah, you blessed me with a very good wife.

Aku je yang selalu tak appreciate kasih sayang Nen. So aku berjanji, I will work on improving my health, just for one reason. Remember how I used to sing "I wanna grow old with you", Nen? I really do, and I plan to keep my part of the deal. The promise is no good if I don't last that long.

Anyway, tadi siang, the doctor repeated the same procedure on the same joints kat kaki aku. 3 steroid jabs and a promise that esok aku boley discharge plus a one month MC.

A ONE MONTH MC?

Takut nanti masuk balik office, some other bloke dah take over my place. Aku ni kan kuli orang, dan kuli boley direplacekan bila2 masa je.

Dah la pagi tadi sebelum aku nak ke OT, sekali apek roommate aku (aku amik 2-bedded room) stopped breathing sampai seluruh floor nurse n doctors kelam-kabut keluar masuk bilik ni trying to save him. Nen pulak dah gi keje time tu. And tengok apek yang aku baru kenal malam sebelumnya jadi macam tu, serabut kepala aku. A lot of things played at the back of my head.

The truth is, aku ada mixed feelings pasal hospitals, especially Mahkota Medical Centre ni.

Dulu arwah Mak selalu in and out of hospitals dengan sakit brain tumournya and aku cukup benci bila Mak terpaksa keluar masuk hospital. The last few years of her life, at least 6 bulan dlm setahun Mak spent kat hospital.

Lagi tak bestnya adalah Mak aku meninggal di Mahkota Medical Centre ni, where I am confined now. Incident apek tua tu tadi memang ala-ala flashback how Mak pernah kena masa kat hospital ni.

Menitik air mata aku selepas anak2 apek tu clearkan barang2 dia untuk pindah ke ICU, sebab aku tahu perasaan diorang. Been there, done that, huh?

I won't let Nen go through that same experience.

I love you, Nen.

I still want to play you the same song even when we're old.